Thursday, November 17, 2011

Kid free FRIDAY!!

Hello once again peeps!!
Well how is everyone enjoying their Friday??..
I have spent the majority of mine fluffing around the house, singing really badly and loudly to all my fav tunes. and even getting to sit out the back in peace in the sun, enjoying a coffee and ciggie..and then ending up with the biggest teenaged headspin ever..

As much as I enjoy a smoke I am not a full time smoker. I in fact have the amazing ability to start and stop smoking without batting an eye-lid, which drives my chain smoking hubby mad..
I really don't understand why or how I seem to get away with this, but I do, and who am I to mess with it..lol..

I remember my first cigarette with crystal clear clarity..I was 13 and staying at my friend Gems place, we were bumming around with Gem's older neighbor who offered us our first smoke, not wanting to look like a pair of babies we took him up and I'm sure bum-puffed away  trying to look awesomely cool, the funny part of this story is we only smoked half of it and realised it tasted like crap and handed the rest back ..LOL..so much for looking cool..
Anyway this set us both on the path of smoking which we did regularly or at least whenever we could con some poor bugger to buy them for us.
I have many a funny story to tell about smoking...getting caught just about to light up by the very cranky english teacher and then having to shove the ciggie and lighter down my bra, what for I don't know because he saw me anyway, to jumping out classroom windows to puff around the corner, to smoking down the street in my school uniform and getting three Saturday detentions in a row...

Now days the only grief I get about smoking is my kids looking at me with big, round, blue eyes and saying "Don't smoke mummy you will die"..which just melts my heart and scares me more than any cranky english teacher. On the other hand Matt just shrugs and tells the kids "You have to die from something".. hes such big fat meany!!..lol..
To which I reply "Yeah well if you get cancer I'm putting you in a home"..oh feel that love..lol..
There is defiantly a time in life were you realise just how bad smoking is for you, and I am in that place, it is really a terrible terrible habit to have and for others very addictive..
Then why???..do I have to smoke as soon as someone is not around to hassle me about it, maybe its that naughty teenager inside me..

On a completely unrelated, but important note..I have started on the long road of ending my phobia of aliens.
Last night I watched "Alien Resurrection"..from go to woe without completely freaking out..MASSIVE EFFORT, considering ET gives me nightmares, ..stop laughing!!..
Matt was so concerned he keep saying "I can't believe you are watching this, you should turn it off"..but I hung in there, and am proud to say I only woke up once, (slightly terrified) . Not sure at what sort of pace I'm going to be exposing myself to aliens,in particular those little X-files one..(shudders) but its deffinatly a step in the right direction ..

Have an awesome weekend everyone..xxx

Friday, November 4, 2011

Are you really "Happy"?

Hello All

Well what an interesting week I have had!!..
Matt started his new job and just LOVES it, I fell into a unexpected job offer and start next week, and then to top it off I won something (details of this are a secret)..has my life been highjacked by some lucky charm or what??..
As some of you know the last couple of years for me and my fam-bam have been very trying. A failed business, continual lack of money and just this yucky black cloud hanging around.
Alot this year I have found myself just going through the motions of life, not really enjoying anything much and when I sat down and thought about it there was alot in my life I was unhappy with.
I think as a mumma you get so caught up in your children you loose sight of yourself as a person, your so worried about them being "Happy" you forget that you too, are entitled to the same euphoric state.
So I have decided, that instead of having a pity party I need to get my butt moving and go after the things I want, because nobody is going to do it for me.
I have a laundry list of stuff I want changed, namely my weight!!..I have taken step to help in this matter and am enjoying the improvements, although it is a slow journey.
My house also needs to be finished, so I have started up a nagging campaign with Matty-cake, as well as a list of shitty shitty jobs that need to be done and am ticking them off as we go.
Thirdly the main thing is time for ME..hence the job, now fostering is awesome and I LOVE it but so so draining and to tell you the truth some of the drama I have had with DoCs this time has left a sour taste in my mouth.I did consider going back to nursing or disability care but the idea of two shift workers with 4 kids is just scary.
So when a tidy little retail job seemingly fell into my lap(thanks Kellie) I grabbed it, so here is too talking clothes and making people feel good.

I found another problem I have is my imagination. I like to imagine myself in a finished, fully renovated awesome house, or even a new renovated, awesome house, I like to imagine myself running along the river track in a crop top...bahahhahah, as if I'd even do that if I was bobble head thin..
So no more!!..It is reality alla-go go at the Wilson's from now on. I have made a list of all the great things in my life to remind myself how lucky I am even if we are having a bad run..

1: My husband and kids, Matt and I have been together for almost 12years he knows all my horrid traits and shortfalls and I know his, I have become aware of how precious it is to have someone to be 100% yourself with and always know that they will love you, we have our fights and drama's(plenty lately) but I know the children in both of us are best friends, we share the same weird sense of humor and love of music and of course our little babies.

2:My family, we are flawed and crazy, we fight, we play together,we share life, they are my identity and I love them all, big and small..(oh look at that poet)

3:My darling darling friends I am sooo blessed in this department I have a swag full of lovely friends. All different, almost one for every mood or whim I have, even one I haven't ever meet in person, but they are all cherished.
There are more on my list but I'll leave it at my top three..
Life is such an amazing gift so I'm going to make sure I enjoy it more from now on!!

 Have an awesome weekend everyone
xx