Damm you yummy Christmas food!

Hello All
Its been ages since I blogged last. I have been quite flat-out the last month with work, and all that the end of another year entails. (sighhhhh) so glad its over..lol.
I had a lovely Christmas with my family, even though it was the first Christmas that Matt has ever had to work(night shift too). We managed to swing things around a bit and he actually got to enjoy most of chrissie day, but with just a massive nanna nap in the middle.
Christmas has been described as the "Season of perpetual hope" I say its the "Season of perpetual eating"..I took "tis the season to be jolly" about 4 steps too far..
As we inch closer to the end of 2011 I have come to realise that I have spent yet ANOTHER year unhappy with my body.
I have been on specialised  protein drinks since April and while I have enjoyed some results I am far from happy.
I have a major issue with EXCERCISE..I hate it!!..I do not enjoy the idea of walking along and getting all sweaty and feral, even though I know this is what is holding me back from achieving success. I have tried every weight management plan out there, from Jenny Craig, to Weight Watchers, to Body Trim, to gym member ships and even prescribed medicines that at one point landed me in hospital and on blood thinnners for 9 months.I loose weight, but then due to being inconsistent, and exercise retarded I put it all back on..plus some.
I need to get serious about this, I'm sick of spending my life hanging out in a body that doesn't match ME..I'm sick of seeing all these super cute clothes and not being able to wear them, but most of all I'm sick of the patronizing looks you get when you are bigger and the "you have a pretty face" comments..
I have an awesome friend who found her motivation and lost 21kg this year..I am in awe of her and all the work she has done to get there, Lizzy Rich you are an inspiration!!..and your going to be my motivation, I hope..lol..
The whole idea of doing this again, scares the shit out of me, I'm scared of failing AGAIN and adding to my list of "things that didn't work"..
My body has delivered 4 healthy, beautiful and huge (Landon was 11lbs 5) babies. I'm proud to be a mother with a mothers body,so this is more about being a healthy size and toned, rather than stick thin..
So wish me luck guys I'm sure I'll be blogging about this soon enough, hopefully with some positive news.
xxx